Archive for May, 2010

The Red Honda

May 23, 2010

I never paddled across Higuera in that red Honda alone
That off-red Edsel, sans radio, sans air conditioning
But there were times when I’d envision myself in that skimpily-painted vehicle
Though I’d constantly be growing dissatisfied with the lazy windshield wipers
Who often napped while making lousy wages biting off North County hail
And I’d be dragging the Honda into Monterey Street repair shops
After each and every Hummer, Cadillac, or Prius rider threatened to shoot my car
My father decided to donate the Edsel after 21 years
Having outlived enemy automakers, we jumped on the bandwagon
But our friends are bound for glory on that newly guava wagon.

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Green Widow

May 23, 2010

Green widow, you wanted a lighter, not love

Last night on the mountain I turned to you

With a cigarette in my hand and I confessed

But you only saw me as a weak boy

Even though you left all the strong ones

Here I don’t have friends, I have caretakers

Here I don’t have lovers, I have words

And I don’t have much left to say

I’ll have to go on another reading binge

And retrieve the golden lyrics for you all

So far, March has been a month of rejection

From Dogchan, from summer, from song

And the threat of AP puts my long hair in check

I’ll be bald as a seagull in spring

Like a Russian soldier you banished this Jew

Will I get rich on Ellis Island?

Or will they get rich on me?
I can hear a factory across the shore

Will I spend my last days in prayer for more?

When I finally leaped onto the college stage

I somehow expected the end of chalkdust failure

And the end of my life as Little Boy Blue

I seriously thought life would croon anew.

March 2010

American Haiku for Meagan Gonzaga

May 23, 2010

As far as I’m concerned, you have given rebirth

To the concept of a residential advisor

By being a wonderful, patient, and reliable friend.

Corporate Mouths

May 23, 2010

I get spat out of every mouth that chews me

Until I have no desire to walk inside again

And “lack of perseverance” is stamped on my barcode

But I’m no delinquent; I’m just a troubled tramp.

Envy

May 23, 2010

I envy the woman who is flanked each night

By a man who writes of his passionate love for her

Her elitism makes her offensive to the eye

As I have been called offensive to the nose

And I want to Xerox her man’s love letters

So that I can hawk them to all the other lonely people

Then we will receive our share of swooning

While top-ranking lovers hopelessly shake their fists

And I want to be freed from this white bread penitentiary

So that no self-serving doctor will ever again damn my body

For envying the woman who is flanked each night

By a man who writes of his passionate love for her.

Summer of 2008

May 12, 2010

At the beginning of last summer, they used to make out at the generator daily

The generator at camp was technically used as the “CIT zone,” where all thirty-three of the counselors-in-training were supposed to hang out

Instead, every night from ten to midnight, our “sweetest couple,” Nate Perch and Lucy Rubenfield, would break nearly every PDA rule on that spot

Prior to CIT, I had been acquainted with Perch, and I both idealized and idolized the seventeen-year old

He wasn’t that athletic or handsome, but he possessed airs that somehow drew girls to his side

I felt that by imitating what Perch did, I would become suave myself

Nate Perch got kicked out of camp? I will always remember my utter shock when the talk of Perch’s adultery reached the CIT class

I was one of the last CITs to find out that Lucy wasn’t the only girl Perch had hooked up with in the summer of 2008

To go into the grotto of specifics still makes me shiver

That night, Lucy was weeping more than I have ever seen anyone cry

The tears in her eyes were so much greater than Perch’s the next day when he left camp As I watched Nate Perch reluctantly tread into his parents’ Lexus, I felt like a man whose belongings were all being repossessed

Due to my initial grief, everyone expected the return of Nate Perch to create an ollie of joy on my emotional half pipe

Why Perch came back, after all the harm he did, I may never know

But no matter how hard Nate Perch tried to appear to be a changed man, all I still remember is the sexually-satisfied grin on his face and his girlfriend Lucy, brown eyes flooded with tears as she lingered on the sidelines of the generator, already doing time.

Homesickness

May 12, 2010

Back when I searched through wanton weeds for the lone lotus flower

The seasons all looked the same

And my indifference would not glide away

The summer equinox was oblivion

Until I met you on a blossoming hill overlooking your hometown

And I realized that the weeds were vestigial.

Our paths often crossed, no matter how many forks

We made light of Tiger Beat and left darkness for the birds and fish

I’d trade paperbacks for your warmth and intellectualism

And everything would always shine with you

As you’d fill me in on who was shallow and who devious

While we schmoozed by the lake.

As another sun dies down to Earth

I think of stars we should have crossed

I talk of shrinks who said “give up”

But, clenching our story tight

I must be on my way to the moon

Where we can count the constellations in our private hemisphere

And believe that nothing is absurd.

Generation Y

May 12, 2010

Like it or not, every generation follows a US President
Nixon led the paranoids
Reagan fathered young urban professionals
And my class is filled with spoiled idiots, some on coke
Generation Y Should I Give a F**k about the news when it’s not about me
Generation Apathy
A large group lost to Family Guy reruns and redundant rap beats
Thinks a joint will bring them to wisdom
It has the opposite effect
They’re everywhere
You leave the public school system, but Mission Prep’s worse
You leave SoCal, but they’re buzzing around NorCal too
Some of them try to find themselves in Europe
But they just end up colonizing countries
Eating up Italy, drinking up Paris
Amsterdam too
I won’t renounce my American citizenship
But I might soon resign from my own generation.