Archive for June, 2010

American Haikus

June 26, 2010

I

 

Sometimes when I’m feeling happy

I can relate the entire world

Around me to my own joy.

 

II

 

The woman on the first floor

Hates her life, her kids, her job

But why should she affect me?

 

III

 

Every once and I while, I wake up

And realize that nobody knows

Who the hell Max Goldberg is.

 

IV

 

If I’m in a good mood I should

Spend an afternoon writing poetry

Not wasting it off on Internet bullshit.

 

V

 

Life goes on, or so the Beatles said

Meanwhile, I’m in a California apartment

Worrying that life is moving a little too fast.

 

VI

 

There is really no moment in

This whole fucking universe

That wouldn’t benefit from a good poem.

 

VII

 

I feel guilty when I

Assume that somebody is flawed

Just by looking at her car.

 

VIII

 

Some people say that such short

Pieces of thought should be seen but

Not heard. I say fuck that, express yourself.

Poem for the GOP

June 17, 2010

The Left has risen again!

And your slave revolts are futile

Joe the Plumber’s crack appeared on national television

And your bottom bitch revealed herself to be an overgrown Poly dolly on an ego Tripp

Her preppy GOPPY daughter doesn’t look too prudish to me

We needed a break from Bush like the Kardashians need a holiday in Aruba (free of media coverage)

And now all your grubby FOX newscasters do is surround themselves with cardboard cutouts of Founding Fathers

As they utter the words, “Dammit Dems.”