Archive for July, 2011

Stiffness Be Gone

July 17, 2011

Though my inner insurgent gleefully sprints across the eight corners of a room filled with strangers

My body stiffens from social anxiety sometimes when those people have left

In front of a consistently filthy mirror, facial hairs once virile are now a matted bonobo beard

And an aristocratically handsome nose is replaced by a proboscis out of Buddy Bradley or on my worst days, Das Sturmer

But this is not one of those days

“Why don’t you write happy poems ever?” she asked after finishing “Green Widow”
“That poem was cathartic,” I reply, but I do think I am getting a bit redundant sometimes

I may have found myself a Beat, but even Ginsberg gasped for air overhead his black swimming pool of melancholy confessions

Time to shake the stiffness off and toss it in the drawer where I keep my cheap Mojo punk comps

In a past poem, I suggested future freedom from a white bread penitentiary, and it seems my freedom has arrived this hour

I shall dance like WC Williams in front of that no longer filthy mirror, picking the stiffness out of my fur

I will later donate the stiffness to lying should-be-cons like Casey Anthony in order to keep them in line and in check while the rest of the living world bleeds from their irresponsibility

Because unlike that tramp, I have no good reason to feel pain.



July 4, 2011

Over the course of ten years, I established a position of authority and prestige

On a subsidiary of a forum often associated with Something Awful

By manipulating words, I turned into a champ of rugby and saxophone

Larger-than-life and larger than my life


So what will I say to the boys from the forum when they meet something smaller than ten years’ worth of lies at a convention in Twin Falls, Idaho?

There will be not a single monitor to wear

Shall I expose the mediocre truth?

Or will I simply not appear?

The Day My Ego Popped

July 4, 2011


I was feeling self-assured so I told Brianna Peppers of how everyone knew my name

“But you see,” she said as she kicked at a lizard in the high school’s grassy knoll

“All of those people who you think are your friends are merely patronizing you”

And though I now would rather be patronized than completely neglected by them

On that dreary high school day, I forgot about the guy who sat with me on the field trip’s bus

And began distorting every pleasant memory into suffering.