All the Wrong Dudes II

“Better than the first All the Wrong Dudes!

-“Sore” Lou Zerman, contributor, The New Yarker

 

Selected Chapters from the Novel:

 

Chapter One: Kirking Hard

 

My name is Kirk M’Caine.

I have written 73 haiku books.  One of them is now a New York Times bestseller.

I personally think that particular book is overrated.

 

Chapter Two: Sexual Harassment in the Kirkplace

 

Due to my mainstream popularity, my private life is constantly being scrutinized.

Yesterday, a paparazzo caught me in bed with Ashlee Simpson.

No one believes me when I tell them that my seldom-seen wife Jezebel bears a striking resemblance to “OK Simpson.”

 

Chapter Three: Hardly Kirking

 

Today my publisher rejected my 74th book, “Rollercoaster Haiku” due to the scandal.  Angrily, I quit that publisher.

I said goodbye to Ashlee—I mean Jezebel—and went out to seek my fortune.

 

Chapter Four: The Kirks of Being a Wallflower

 

I’m in the big city now.  This might sound familiar, but I didn’t go to Central Park or get touched by my teacher.  Therefore you’ve never read anything exactly like this before.

 

Chapter Five: Many Middle-Easterners Wear Kirkas

 

Because one angry critic unfavorably compared me to many of the latest politicians (as well as a couple of the earliest Nazis), I have been accepted into the secret society for a political party (I don’t remember which).  Not bad for a guy who just entered the city two days ago!

 

Chapter Six: The Kirk (with Steve Martin)

 

Lo and behold!  I have been selected as Presidential Candidate Calvin “Violent Cal” Eddino III’s running mate.  I guess all the negative attention paid off.

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