Carnival of the Apes by Ogden Crosby

The Gorilla


The lowland or mountain gorilla

Can’t tell communion wafers from Nilla

Though Vatican II

Banned gorilla glue

Benedict’s still a shrilla gorilla killa.


The Chimpanzee


Meet my friend! He ain’t a wimp!

He ain’t a pansy! He’s a chimp!

He likes his journalism Gonzo

Ether is breakfast for Bonzo.


The Orangutan


Don’t talk while you eat, Dr. Zaius

I can’t hear the message you try to convey us

Did you say “I wanna be like youey?”

Oh never mind, you’re King Louie.


The Gibbon


My pity goes out to the gibbon

In the ape race, he won the worst ribbon

It was 37th place

Bonobos laughed in his face

And he drowned all his sorrows in bourbon.


The Bonobo


I don’t see this ape oft

Nor can I say his core’s soft

His habits are surely the lewdest

Dear Lord! You’ve a species of nudist!

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