Sliver: A Play in Three Scenes

KURDT KOBAIN: A neurotic six-year old boy, twin to JIMMY JR.

JIMMY KOBAIN JR.: KURDT’S twin, the more extroverted and practical of the brothers

MR. KOBAIN: KURDT and JIMMY JR.’S logger father

MRS. KOBAIN: KURDT and JIMMY JR.’S mother, daughter of G. JOE and GRANDMA

GRANDPA JOE: Hick maternal grandfather of the twins (can double with MR. KOBAIN)

GRANDMA: Senile maternal grandmother of the twins (can double with MRS. KOBAIN)

 

Scene 1: MR. and MRS. KOBAIN are in a HONDA CARPENTER, driving the twins (in the backseat) to GRANDPA JOE’S house.  The Kobain parents are later going to a film with MR. KOBAIN’S brother, UNCLE LYMAN KOBAIN

MRS. KOBAIN: So, what’s this movie about?

MR. KOBAIN: Oh, it’s just about this guy who travels through time.  Don’t ask me why Lyman wants to see it.  It’s pretty surreal, I assume, knowing Lyman (chuckles weakly)

KURDT: Where are we going?

MR. KOBAIN: (angrily lights a cigarette) I already told you!  You and Jimmy Jr. are going to Grandpa’s house!  And I mean Grandpa Joe, as my dad’s in reha—Texas!

KURDT: (laughs childishly) OK.  (JIMMY JR. stares at KURDT)
MRS. KOBAIN: Kids, we have reached Grandpa Joe’s.

KURDT: (shouting) Wow!

JIMMY JR.: Seen it.

KURDT: I wanna see the movie, Dad.

MRS. KOBAIN: It’s an adults-only movie night.

MR. KOBAIN: Yeah, it’s f—PG.  Kurdt can see it with a friend.

MRS. KOBAIN: Who’s that one boy Kurdt talks about from kindergarten?  Lenny?  Larry?  (MRS. KOBAIN is ignored by everyone, and they all proceed to JOE’S house from the car)

(End scene)

Scene 2: KURDT and JIMMY JR. are in the foyer of GRANDPA JOE’S house.  Enter GRANDMA

KURDT: (kicking and screaming upon the foyer’s floor) I want my mommy! (GRANDMA tries to calm KURDT down; enter JOE)

G. JOE: (muttering) Drat.  (leads the bawling KURDT into a guest room) You’ve gotta stop crying, boy. (KURDT views JIMMY JR. from a distance, who is being fed much frozen yogurt by GRANDMA)

KURDT: I can’t!  Take me home, Joe!

G. JOE: That’s Grandpa!  (lights a wine-flavored cigar and throws it at KURDT’S hand.  KURDT begins to cry again.  JOE removes the cigar from his grandson’s burnt hand) Boy, you can’t cry like this.  It’s called matoority.  You gotta be matoor.  That’s the only way that you’ll ever succeed in life, like your daddy.

KURDT: (still bawling) Grandpa, take me home! (Runs into the grandparents’ kitchen, where GRANDMA is feeding JIMMY JR. some more frozen yogurt) Grandma, take me home!

G. JOE: (sighs) Kurdt burned himself with my cigar.

GRANDMA: The poor boy hasn’t eaten.  Here, Kurdt, help yourself to some steak and mashed potatoes. (KURDT sits down at the kitchen table and slowly starts on his mashed potatoes.)

G. JOE: Hey, Jimmy Jr.!  Don’t ask me why, but I’ve got a new bike with training wheels.

JIMMY JR.: Let me ride!

KURDT: Can I ride it?

GRANDMA: Kurdt, not until you finish your mashed potatoes and London Broil.

G. JOE: A boy’s gotta eat! (KURDT hastily eats his mashed potatoes, and starts on his steak, which he cannot chew well.  JOE takes JIMMY JR. into the garage, where a bike awaits him)

GRANDMA: What was that song our kids used to play?  “If you don’t eat your steak, you can’t have any frozen yogurt?”

KURDT: Frozen yogurt?  I want some.

GRANDMA: Then finish your dinner.

KURDT: (shakily) I’ll just watch TV then.  There’s this new show on Nickelodeon…

GRANDMA: Sure.  But don’t expect any frozen yogurt. (KURDT runs to the living room’s TV, stubbing his toe.)

KURDT: Ouch!

GRANDMA: (ignoring the pain of KURDT) Lie down on the couch, make yourself at home.  What was that show you wanted to watch? (She turns on the TV as KURDT limps onto the sofa.  He stares at the cartoon for a few minutes, quickly falling asleep.  She makes a run for the kitchen and picks up JIMMY JR.’S unfinished frozen yogurt) Here, Kurdty!  Oh, he’s asleep.

Scene 3: KURDT is at his parents’ house, and wakes up in MRS. KOBAIN’S arms.

KURDT: Mommy!  It was a dream!  (winces in pain) Wait, my hand hurts.  (enter JOE)

MRS. KOBAIN: Grandpa’s staying here for a week. (Loud screams from KURDT)

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