The Fusilli Jerry (parody of “Taxman” by George Harrison)

Kramer’s vanity grew overweight

He purchased a new license plate

And it said “ASSMAN”

Kramer’s got “ASSMAN”

And you’re heckling with no one but ASSMAN

“He’s an ASSMAN! He’s an ASSMAN!”

Jerry Seinfeld got the gist

He blamed a crude proctologist

“Butt Doctor’s ASSMAN”

Kramer’s a has-been

Since they heckled no one but “ASSMAN”

“Twenty years ago, you’d be on TV with the word ‘ASSMAN’ on your license plate!”

Newman’s a dog-despising nerd (“Hello, Mr. ASSMAN!”)

His friend Kramer said the magic word (“Dilophosaurus!”)

So he got ASSRAPED

Kramer got ASSRAPED

By Jurassic Pork and US Mail’s own Norman Newman

“I’m not an ASSMAN, that’s what’s so insane about this!”

Kramer’s ass was getting pissed

He went to the proctologist

Butt Doc was ASSMAN

So thank you Newman

For helping Kramer solve the case of ASSMAN

“If only there were a horrible name that I could call you, that would make you as angry as ASSMAN!”

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