You’ve Just Been…Chonked?

Who (or what) the hell is Chonk? An unpopular Urban Dictionary submission defines “chonk” as an “Aussie word for sex.” However, you will be surprised to know that Chonk is actually the stage name of Brian Bauer, an employee at Rasputin Music in Berkeley and an often humorous and psychedelic anti-folk musician. Chonk’s large repertoire varies from catchily offensive folk jams like “Jesus Called Me a Dick Today (But That’s OK, I Never Liked Him Anyway)” and “Sara’s Gonna Get Fucked Up Tonight” to the belated Schoolhouse Rock outtake “Rock N’ Rollin’ Semicolon,” from avant-garde covers of old blues standards like Leadbelly’s “Whoa Back Buck” and “Goodnight Irene” to his first psychedelic masterpiece, the aptly titled “Distortion!” The latter composition gained Chonk a cult following on the Internet due to repeated airplay of its surrealistic music video on The Real UHF, a web series created by Zack Wolk, a member of the Church of the SubGenius and a former writer for The Tom Green Show and Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!

On October 28, Chonk officially released his second single and music video, an existentialist Dylanesque folk rambling called “Carousel” which appears to be the third song in the history of popular music to use the obscure instrument known as the Jew’s harp (which was actually invented in South Asia by Gentiles) after The Who’s “Join Together” and “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “Won’t Eat Prunes Again,” perhaps not coincidentally a parody of The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again.” As a promotional third video, “Boggled Whiskeydream,” will be released within the next few weeks, Chonk will be touring California, including San Luis Obispo, with musical accompaniment from Boone the Ghostfiddler . In the meantime, “Boggled Whiskeydream,” “Distortion!,” and plenty of other Chonk nuggets can be heard or even purchased on his debut album No Other Time, available at Note the Daniel Johnston influence in the album art. For more information on Chonk, please visit or


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